Does that look like a “serving” to you? I can only assume that Taco Bueno wishes to help me with portion control. The item above was the entire contents of the guacamole part of my Mexi chips and dips order, a part that typically fills the entire cup.
Unfortunately, that incident serves as a metaphor for my life lately. The portions keep getting smaller and smaller–whether they be time, or resources, or patience. Too often, there’s just not enough of anything.
And while I’m complaining, I know, really I know, that my complaints of scarcity come from a place of plenty. I have food, clothes, and shelter, and money left over once I’ve provided those things. But sandwiched in with those things, I also have the too-familiar spectre of friends fighting losing battles with cancer, the prospect of budget cuts and layoffs at work, and the usual feeling of too much to do and too little time in which to do it.
The economic crisis took its time coming to Suburbia. Things rolled along fairly well until the end of summer when our oil and gas-based economy felt the hit of the dropping prices at the pump. But since then, school budgets have suffered multiple cuts, with the light at the end of the tunnel appearing to be much more likely to be a train than the end of the suffering.
While I’m not personally worried about my own position, I am worried about those of others and about the toll of making the decisions regarding what and, eventually, who to cut. I’m worried about the turf wars, which are already starting. They come with politics and games I’d rather not play. Games I’m good at; games where winning comes with a price.
That started tonight, with an impromptu meeting that kept me at work until almost 6:30. And, I’d say round one went at least partially to me. But in the end I felt like there should have been a voiceover announcement stating, “And tonight, the role of bitch will be played by LSM.” And that definitely leaves me feeling empty.