I established a love/hate relationship with the poems of William Carlos Williams–did his parents resent him at birth or something to give him that name–back in college when I had to explicate his The Red Wheelbarrow and then received an A for it. But tonight, my feelings shifted much more toward the “love” side of the spectrum as I listened to a hilarious segment about Williams’ poem This Is Just To Say on This American Life.
I have eaten the plums
that were in the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
On the segment, frequent contributors to This American Life shared their spoofs on the above poem. Something is up (or actually, not up) with the speakers on my laptop, so I can’t relisten to the segment. Otherwise, I’d share some examples. I do highly recommend you take a listen though.
I think it would be fun to see how creative my bloggy friends are these days. Care to share your own spoof of This Is Just To Say? If so, either leave it in the comments or send me a link. I’ll update this post to send people your way.
And now I leave you with the “parenting a teenageer” version of This Is Just To Say.
I have dried
the shirt
made of 100% cotton
that was on your floor
and which
you were probably
planning
to air dry
Forgive me
if you had sorted
your own laundry
it would not be
so short
and so small
Somewhere In The Suburbs 
I love that poem – and I love your take on it. I’ll have to remember that next time I shrink my own clothes (I have no excuse, I’m just not that good at reading the labels).
This is just to say
I have painted over
the flamingo and calamine lotion pink stripes
which you left
on the walls
of the kitchen
when you sold us your home.
You probably loved them.
So many hours of careful planning and measuring,
so many feet of masking tape,
so many perfect three inch stripes–all gone.
Forgive me
they were hideous.
Omg that’s a good one:)))
This is just to say
I have consumed
natures gifts
which you probably
saving
for your children
forgive me
oil s cheap
forests old
sky wide
just one butt
Agreed – that was an awesome segment on This American Life. If only the whole thing could have been about William Carlos Williams…that cryonics story gave me the creeps. My favorite of the spoofs that were read was this one by Kenneth Koch:
Last evening
we went dancing
and I broke your leg
Forgive me
I was clumsy and
I wanted you here
in the wards
where I am the doctor
Revised the first cause it had a couple errors (sorry, I tried to delete it but couldn’t. maybe you can) and I wrote two more at work today. It’s so neat to know that someone else heard “Mistakes Were Made” and felt as giddy as I did to write their own spoofs. Love This American Life!
—–
This is just to say
I have written the details
of our love affair in poems
which I have read in public
and am looking to publish
the details which
you were probably
saving
to take to your grave
for your pleas to St. Peter
to tell how someone good once love you
Forgive me
our love was beautiful and epic
so sweet
and so cold
This is just to say
I have wrecked the station wagon
which you so generously lent me
and which
you were probably
saving
to sell for cash
Forgive me
I am not much for being aware of things around me
and the car stopped
so suddenly
and I was on my cell
This is just to say
I have lost my virginity
which I was born of your womb
to cherish and preserve
and which
I probably should have been
saving
for a boy you approved of
or at least didn’t despise
Forgive me
it was AMAZING
so perfect
so there!
That hit close to home. I laughed so hard I scared my dog.
I love this first one! So sweet, and so cold. As a publisher of the details of my own love affairs, I must sympathize.
this is amazing and applies to my life
This is just to say…
When I ordered
the invasion
I knew you had no
weapons program
but we had
so many troops
and such sweet
expensive toys
Forgive me
I didn’t know another way
to seem like
a leader
thank you, so simple, yet so telling
Wow..shivers…
This is just to say…
I never intend
To sleep
With you.
I know you
Expect it
To happen soon.
Forgive me,
Your bed
Is so convenient,
When I have
Had too much
To drink.
this is so funny i wounder if it happened to you i think that you did a great job you are so funny. here is mine..
this is just to say
i burned the house
which i think you may not like because it had value
i was bored and wanted to redecorate
forgive me but your house looked better with flames
it last a little bit of time but it was worth it
i love this , laughed so hard my baby cousin was looking at me weirdly
After listening to this episode of This American Life as a podcast at work, and then cruising around the internet reading a variety of spoofs, this seemed a very natural and honest addition to this burgeoning genre.
This is just to say…
I have squandered
all of the
billable hours
budgeted for this project
and which
you were probably
hoping
to be paid for
Forgive me
the internet is fascinating
so extensive
and so much more interesting
This is Just to Say
I cleaned
the toilet
with your
toothbrush
which you probably
expected
to be sanitary
in the morning
Forgive me
it worked great
so pink
and so stiff
so pink and so stiff!
inspired. thank you so much for that.
Fabulous poem…
I have left
my mind
at the office
next to my computer
but you want me
to decide
what I will cook
for dinner
I have
three words for you
dial and dine
this is just to say…
I have followed in your footprints for years
the ones you were probably
saving for your children
Forgive me
your steps were so sure
so strong
This is hilarious. I have nothing to contribute, but I just wanedt to say …
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Alas, this one is true and from the recent past:
This is just to say
I have run over your bicycle
that was in the garage
and which you were probably
planning
to ride with your friends
Forgive me
but if you had put it away
like I asked you to six times
it would not now be
so flat
and so broken
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Now I’ve written one, too:
Here’s mine:
This is just to say
I have taken
the hats
that were on
the shelf
and which
you were probably saving
for the summer
Forgive me
they were lovely
so bright
and so voluminous
Great to see these collected! I wonder how many spoofs that episode of TAL ends up inspiring? Here’s mine:
I debunked
the fallacies
that you left in
my inbox
and which
you were probably
believing
as gospel
Forgive me
they were obnoxious
so ignorant
and so cold
I’m keeping this one to serve up as often as necessary! (Too often, no doubt).
So great. Come post some more over here
I have been trying to forget our entire history together.
From the time you burned your finger on the cigarette lighter in my Datsun to the point where we stood at the ferry waiting to say goodbye while we shared an instant hot chocolate.
Forgive me.
I know it was only a week, and I got mad at you for being vegan, but you looked way too thin, and my family fortune comes from sausages.
I left the window open
last night
and let the cool air creep
into our cacoon
of hot breath and sweat
and yes, I saw
your sleeping hands search out
our faded white comforter,
but I couldn’t sleep
and had kicked the covers
onto the floor
to let the fresh breeze
tickle you awake.
Forgive me.
This is just to say …
I’m sorry for the words
that made you
punch
the door
I did not
mean them
and you lost
your damage deposit
forgive me
but revenge is so sweet
so delicious
and best served cold
This is Just to Say
I didn’t mean
to crash
your car
But it went
so fast
and I was racing
a truck
If only you’d switched to Geico
you could have
had your car fixed
oops…I sent before finishing
This is just to say
I may have just poured regular in your decaf cup
or maybe not
Think of me at two
a.m.
if only you weren’t so rude,
and ugly.
Forgive me
it was so tempting
and hot
and strong.
This is just to say
I won’t be
home
for dinner
There was
a happy hour
and I drank
too much
Forgive me
I hate
my job and
your cooking
Just listened to the TAL podcast today. Composed my own poem and then found your blog. Thought I’d add mine to the mix.
This is just to say
I have read all
the mail
that was in
your inbox
and which
you were probably
thinking
were private
Forgive me
they were so tempting
and your
password known
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Here’s my attempt:
I called
your new husband
by the name
of your old boyfriend.
The one
We thought
Would
Marry you.
Forgive me.
He was familiar
So jolly
And easy talk to.
The best so far, so telling 🙂
I have been the new boyfriend called by the name of the old boyfriend by the grandmother.
This Is Just To Say
I am in love with Ed
He was once yours
and you probably
thought
he always
would be.
Forgive me
he is amazing
so sweet
and so good
(no, I didn’t go stealing him out from under her!)
Here are the two I came up with, which I posted to my blog:
This is just to say
We made sweet love
Last night
After the meal
And the bar
Although
We agreed to not
Amuse
Our passions
Forgive me
It was amazing
So zealous
And carnal
——————-
This is just to say
I have flirted
With him –
Your husband,
And your love
And whom
You were probably
Waiting
For at home
Forgive me
He is handsome
And I
So youthful
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Forgive me
for leaving the plums
from my science project
in the icebox.
You probably
thought that
I was saving them
for breakfast.
The trash can
was so far away
and I
was so tired.
This is my favorite!
dude where did my post go?
This is just to say, Mom…
I’ve told the story
More than once
To so many
You probably felt justified
In serving papers
By way of limo driver
To my father
At our wedding
Forgive me
But the joy felt
Through the terror seen
In the faces of those told
Is immeasurable
I listened to the podcast of TAL’s show and I realized that this poem lends itself beautifully as a “Mad Lib.” Bear with me – I don’t have HTML skills.
This is just to say
I have [verb, past tense]
the [noun]
that were
[prepositional phrase]
and which
you were probably
[verb]
for [noun]
Forgive me
they were [adjective]
so [adjective]
and so [adjective]
This is just to say
I have left
the greasy chicken pan
that was in the sink
which you were
probably saving for me
because you’re a vegetarian
Forgive me.
I was laughing
so careless
and cold.
Here’s another attempt, for Dilbert and “The Fonz”
This is just to say…
I have smitten your computer with
my fist, smashing the circuitry,
crumpling the hard drive and
fracturing the pixelated splendor of your
nineteen inch monitor
I assume you were saving it
for grad school, or something literate, trendy and
genial…and here my hand so callously broken
forgive me
the laptop, like the piano is such
a delicate instrument
so black and
so white.
Carolyn,
I gave this to my kids as a Mad Lib and here they are:
This is just to say…
I have upchucked
the sheep
that were in
the jar
and which
you were stupidly
touching
for laundry
Roll me
they were scruffy
so dirty
and so yellow
———-
This is just to say…
I have blew up
the jellyfish
that were in
the couch
and which
you were impatiently
smelling
for school
Kick me
they were bumpy
so smooth
and so bright
I have jammed on the brakes
which forced you to do the same
since you were driving
two feet
behind me
Forgive me
you probably thought
you could get there faster
than I am driving
I have shredded the photos
that were in the back of your drawer
and which you were probably
saving
to remember your beautiful ex girlfriend
Forgive me
they were so flat
and old
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Here’s my version… sadly based in truth:
I kissed you
after the Cabaret
and allowed you to believe
that it meant something
Forgive me
the wine had made me heady
and the fresh sting from my
last relationship made me
foolish
and you were so comfortable
so willing
you were probably thinking
that this was your moment
and that I would fall in love
as you had
Please
understand why I don’t wish
to speak to you anymore
I realize now
that I shouldn’t have come to your home uninvited.
Forgive me.
you may not have known
how much I love you
but you know damn well
there is nowhere else
to hide the body
This is just to say
I met some friends at Chili’s
And upon exiting my parking space
My parent’s Buick Electra Estate Wagon
(Deep sea metallic Blue with fake wood grain adhesive)
Left some Blue paint on your red pickup truck.
Forgive me.
You really shouldn’t have parked so close.
I was only 17, and not the best driver.
And your truck wasn’t that nice,
So you probably didn’t notice.
Even if you did, you probably dealt with it just fine.
This is Just to Say
I burnt your wedding dress
that you wore
on the best day of your life
I wanted something to burn
For I am a pyro-maniac
and i got a new lighter
Forgive me it was
just so white
So flammable
I was listening to everything you said,
although I have no idea.
It’s fair to say I got distracted
with it’s one simple button,
it’s everything I need.
I must admit,
I wrote this on my iPhone,
while you were talking.
Gracie
I’m sorry I kicked you
in the face.
But there you were
on the floor
and I couldn’t get by easily.
You with your retriever hip
that expensive pills don’t quite cure.
But we adopted you old.
Out of pity.
AnyBean,
This is just to say
I finally read your post today.
Forgive me.
But to my dismay
Time just seemed to slip away.
It wouldn’t stop!
With the gods I hold no sway.
ur horrible to treat a creature that way
Good Grace
I tried to avoid kicking the dog in the head
but she loves me
so much
that she looks up
when I step across
because I give her food
and scratch her fur
and talk stupid
and took her home
before they
(you know)
because she is
so old.
This is Just To Say
I did not warm the personal lubricant
Which was cold as an icebox
as you probably
noticed
Forgive me
You were delicious
I was so hot
And it, so cold
This is just to say
I was going to ignore
your declaration of love
when it leapt from your mouth
in the blue light of passion.
You must forgive
my impatience
with your explanation,
but your divorce is not cold,
And my heart is too hot
to be bothered
when I am only
using you for sex.
This is just to say
I needed a way out of this place and time that feels so wrong
forgive me for being tired and hopeless
as I put the gun to my head and disappear
the peace that follows is so quiet,
so enveloping,
so cold
Please write back. Are you okay?
Was that art or true feelings ? I hope your okay.
I’ve checked to see if there was any way to reach this particular poster, but I can’t find a way to track him/her down. I’ll join the others in asking Anonymous to sign back on to let us know he/she is okay.
is u dead????!!!!! i was once suicidal, but it stopped, u have stuffs to live for, trust me!
what a second, u could be like, lets make lots of people worry, so i can laugh
sick joke, unless u really are dead???
Forgive me for finding us together
Your boyfriend and I
I was almost relieved when you burst in
I thought now she knows, for sure
She will know that he’s no good
for sleeping with me, her daughter
But you were so angry with me, instead
like it was my fault
like I seduced him
when I had no choice
but in a way it was like you were treating me like a big girl
like a grownup
like I had made the decision
for you to be cheated on
I felt so grown up
wondering why mine was deleted? censored site?
I heard this segment today on this american life. Was this originally aired a year ago ?
Thanks
I wrote the post the evening that I heard the segment, so it was around a year ago. I didn’t catch the rerun, but I’d guessed something was up from the increased traffic on this post. It’s still one of my favorites.
Yes, around a year ago. The This American Life website can give you the exact date of the original airing, if you’re interested.
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I have packed your body
that was entrusted to me
and which you probably wanted
unfrozen one day
into a cold metal can
smashed
against other bodies
in a grim dance
Forgive me
I had not room and
the metal can was so empty
and so cold
Pingback: Spoofing the poem ‘This Is Just To Say” « An exercise in frugality
This is Just To Say
I have murdered
Your mum
And placed her
In the icebox
By the sandwich
you were probably
serving
for breakfast
Forgive me
She was annoying
So bitter
And so cold
Very funny!
This is just to say
that I will always love you,
that I attribute who I have become because of you.
I am strong, brave, beautiful and quick.
I am eccentric, ambitious and good natured.
I am not you.
I have had lovers fall at my feet, proving their undying love.
Unlike you, they desired relationships and offered honest love.
Unlike you, they saw beauty in my character.
And you brought out the ugly for so long.
Life was beckoning though,
and in your reluctance and oppression I grew strong.
So forgive me, dad, for I am finally leaving.
A man is here to stand beside me.
You tried to make amends, and for that I am grateful
though they are
too little
too late
And he has deserved my trust.
This is just to say
it was i
that made you feel
wounded
and alone for a minute today
something
you were probably
hoping to avoid
forever
forgive me
i was careless
because i love you
from deeper wounds
of my own
This Is Just to Say
I have chopped up the doll house
That your grandfather made for your mother
And your father repainted for you
I asked you to get it out of the garage
but you couldn’t be bothered.
It seemed right, because the garage was like
your heart
So dusty
And so cold
I have seen your husband
Dropping your children at daycare today
So tall and dark and handsome
I want him
I think he knows it
I think he would not mind
Forgive me,
He looks delicious
And I am so heartbroken
I really like this one, despite the undertones. Beautiful.
Gracie Washed
I have taken you for another bath
It’s not your fault
Your fur, so thick, so white
Stained where you strain
To eliminate.
When you’re wet
Your skinny frame shows through
And people see
How fragile
How old.
Wrapped in a towel
You’re not
So cold.
I’m sorry I didn’t call on mothers day. Though I doubt you expected to hear my voice. Its been 4 years already. Forgive me. Its the only way I can hurt you without you hurting me.
BEST POEM!!! SO TOUCHING AND SAD
This is my first one so its not good:
I’m sorry that you say it
The horror that was flashing through your mind
As I pulled it from the box
It’s body covered in warts
But limping like a noodle
No longer alive this ugly thing
You watched as I ripped it apart
Then I savored its juices
Just gushing down my face
I used your napkin then
The one with your initials
The one from your birthday
It is now drenched in those juices
The letters soggy and torn
You are probably angry
No longer can I stop myself
The taste of the flesh is great
I am a pickleholic
this is just to say…
i have turned
completely from you
you probably
didn’t expect this
after all these years
forgive me
but your friend
was too much for me to take
as I hopped from
bed to bed to bed
this is just to say
i actually
was never
into you
at all
although i
obviously
made you
think otherwise
forgive me
you looked great
and i was
so lonely
This is just to say
I have bought
the blue stacked-heel peep-toe pumps
that were in that cute boutique
and which
you were probably
planning to wear
for your party
Forgive me
they were irresistible
so pointy
and so promising
Oh, I like this one! Thanks for commenting.
Mine:
This is just to say
I have laundered
your Ipod
that you left
in your skateboard shorts
Forgive me
I couldn’t tell it was there
the new board shorts are so big
and so heavy
This is just to say
I touched your boyfriend in that spot tonight
The one you have been telling me about
Forgive me
But you and I have never been especially close
And he has wanted me for so long
and. . .
This is just to say
I sold the house your parents left us
Forgive me
I suppose I should have told you I was planning to
But you’re so hard to talk to sometimes
And willing buyers are difficult to come by in this market
This is just to say
when you started leaving
the dirty dishes on the counter
above the dishwasher
I cried again
Forgive me
after 13 years
I had to leave
I’m not looking back
This is just to say
I have read the note
that you posted on Facebook
in which
you were probably
referring
to me
You’re right!
I am a jackass
so heartless
and so cold
(but at least
I’m not passive aggressive
like some people
I know)
Perfect, that sums up facebook, and if i set my poem to a facebook status it would be in reply to mine.
This is just to say…
I have drunken
the milk
that was in
the fridge
and which
I thought you were
saving
for breakfast
Fuck you.
It was spoiled.
You did this on purpose.
OMYGAWD THAT SOOOO FUNNY 😀
This is just to say
I have written a note about eating plums
and left it on the icebox
and which you will probably
save
and one day publish
Forgive me
It’s so deceptively simple
so cryptic
and so easy to parody
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This is just to say…
I have taken
your heart,
it was trapped
by a layer of ice.
You may have
been saving
the broken, damaged thing
for another girl.
Forgive me,
it was so dysfunctional,
so haunted,
so cold.
We had to write a spoof for my AP Lit class, I thought I would share my version. I also wrote this one:
I have taken
your soul
that was trapped
by your icebox of a heart.
You may have
been saving it
for heaven.
Forgive me
it was delicious,
so sweet,
and oh so cold.
I LOVE these!!
This Is Just To Say
I am sorry
and have
somewhere made
a mistake,
though it’s
unclear where we went
wrong
in perfection
Forgive me
you were too much
so sweet
and so cold.
I’m sorry that
I made friends
with the girl
you like and
told her that
I love you.
I’m sorry that
I told her
that you have
feelings for her.
You were probably
planning to
tell her in
your own time
yourself.
Forgive me.
She was such a
good listener,
and I put in a
good word for you.
Besides,
She said you
weren’t her type
anyways.
this is just to say
I have had sex with the husband
who is in the garage
and who you were probably saving
for the rest of your life.
forgive me.
I am so damaged,
and you seemed ok with it.
This is just to say
That this is just today
And every day
From here on out I will
Be different
It’s hard to chance
But its what I’ll
Do for you
And if you need me I’ll
Be fixing the things I broke
This will make it better
I hope
This Is Just To Say
I’m sorry I broke up
with you on Christmas
A holiday which you
don’t really enjoy in
the first place
Forgive me
but the way I felt after
was my own Christmas present
to myself
I have read the messages
that were in your inbox
and which
you were sneakily
hiding
because I would
“overreact”
forgive me
they were disgusting
so disrespectful
and so bold
“This is Just to Say”
I have plagiarized
your first line
of your
famous poem
about the plums
With which
you would probably
sue me
if
you were still alive
Forgive me
it is such fun
to finally plagiarize
without
getting in trouble
And
did I mention
that you have
a pathetic
name?
This poem is directed to William Carlos Williams 🙂
This is Just to Say
I have de-friended
you on Facebook
your friend count
now is zero
This probably made
you feel abandoned
since you’re lonely
and my mother
Forgive me
🙂
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This Is Just To Say
I have hidden
the insulin
you kept in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
counting on
to keep you alive
Forgive me
Revenge is delicious
so sweet
and so cold
I ordered the city burned to the ground that you had planned on retiring to next year. I am sorry, but I was craving peanut butter cups and none were to be found, so your retirement city is melting and I am still craving peanut butter cups.
We held hands each time we were reunited and then I severed my own hands with a spoon. I know not what I do.
I shredded the draft of your novel it took you seven years to type on a typewriter, bullheadedly refusing the use of a computer. I used the shredded pages to pack the items of yours I sold to strangers on Ebay and felt the warm, rare, January sun flush my cheeks.
I broke your leg off during copulation last night. Forgive me. I cannot hear you when I am excited and I did not want it in the way the next time, if there is a next time, because I do not know if I like you anymore now that you have only one leg.
This was written by a former student of my Language Arts teacher. I don’t remember her name, but I thought I should give her credit.
This is just to say
I have burned
the letters in your drawer
and which
you were probably saving
as keepsakes
Forgive me
I needed to
hurt you
This is just to say…
I have ripped off your plastic head
that was attached to your disturbingly disproportional body.
You don’t even know that it’s missing because you are just a doll.
Forgive me
It was so tempting
so satisfying
and so worth it.
This is just to say…
I have picked the flowers
that were in your garden
and which you were probably
planning on caring for all summer.
Forgive me.
They were so beautiful
so perfect
and so fragrant.
This is just to say…
I have forwarded you an e-mail
About Jesus
Which you probably
Will not read
Forgive me,
But He is watching
So omnisciently
Into my inbox
This is just to say…
I backed over your cat
which was lying in your driveway
Forgive me
But its claws were so sharp
And you know I’m allergic.
This Is Just To Say
I have taken
your original idea
of this poem
and which
you thought of
yourself
and put in my own
ideas
Forgive me
my English Teacher
assigned it
sue her
not me
lol x)
This is just to say,
I have fired your husband,
Who was working for me?
in which
You were probably
Relaying on
His weekly income
Forgive me
He was annoying
So troublesome
And so stupid
This Is Just To Say
Last night,
when you and thirty other
barely-clothed friends
walked in front of my car
when the light was green,
I wanted to run you over.
My foot was on the brake
and my hand was on the horn
you gave me an apathetic look
and I gave you the finger.
Forgive me
for I was in a bad mood
and you were so thoughtless
and dressed so slutty.
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This is Just to Say ……
I have broken
the car window
that was in
the driveway
and which
you were probably
saving
for a trip to the grocery store
Forgive me
it was so clear
so breakable
and so easy
this is my spin on this amazing poem I hope you like!!!!!
I was thinking about children’s stories and came up with this…
I have eaten
The blonde
That went through
Our icebox
And which
You were probably saving for breakfast
Forgive me
She was delicious
So sweet after eating
Porridge which was too cold
This poem is tight who ever you r I like. how you r telling it in the perspective of the bear.
This is just to say
I have miscarried
the baby
that was growing
inside me
and which
you were probably
excited
to meet
Forgive me
they were tiny
so beautiful
and so lost
Poem above, Just lovely. My son and I have read this site as he has an assignment to “write a poem based on WCW’s this is just to say..” Perhaps it might be a banal assignment, but he’s only 12 years old, We laughed until we peed a little. Now he’s chock full of ideas. Stay tuned for his submission…
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But there are other ways a student of English can learn the
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THIS IS JUST TO SAY;
I am spending a few days in Sydney
Which you were probably saving for some bedroom misadventures
I’m sorry Master!
I’m sure I’ll have the time of my life at the Green Day concert you forbade
It was just too tempting
And worth every bit of anticipated punishment
xxx
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